Cultivating A Christian Worldview- Our Nine Year Old Girl

My nine-year-old (she tells me soon to be 10) does not instinctively gravitate towards anything “church/God”. I have to wonder what my mom would say about me when I was 9/10 years old. I have been observing her for a few months now, and notice that if given the opportunity, she will not: sing church songs, worship, read her Bible, pray, act friendly towards others. However, as I have observed over this summer, she will: watch as many hours of videos as she can, she knows all the (worldly) songs and dance moves, can repeat the coolest things to say, can identify all the kid celebrities, will play all day. C’mon, you say…give her a break! She’s only nine years old. True. Again, at my age, I cannot remember what I was like at her age. I am sure I was no saint, and I did much the same things as she did. At nine, I was in Primary school and in love with the prettiest girl in the school (Kim), thought we'd get married too…funny thing I am married to another  beautiful girl named Kim. I was on top of stuff, knew all the songs (it was the Michael Jackson era). I was very engaged in school and did a lot of stuff with friends and family. But church… can’t say. I lived with my grandmother who had a more subdued approach to "training in the Way." 


She made sure we were up and ready for church every Sunday, and took us to as many weekday services and events as was possible (including funerals). I can remember being mocked a few times for wearing long sleeve shirts and carrying my Bible in hand on Sundays as we walked to church. That was torture for a kid! High school was a challenge, trying to live in two worlds (christian vs. secular). I made the commitment to follow Christ at 12 years old. The training part for me occurred when I moved to the city to live with my mom and step-dad, who are both Christians. I can remember those many many many many many devotions at home. Granted, our daughter is adopted (she’s been living with us now for the past eight months), so consideration must be given to her past. And what a past it seems. Getting into her world was a challenge. No, it was rough. But now she’s opening up and sharing. It feels like nine years old is the new twelve years old. They know so much. I cannot believe it.

Yesterday she told me she had lied to me about not knowing about worship. That she’d been told before, just that she did not care to. Seems I can never really know if she’s telling the truth. I can only observe her actions and start there. What is clear, is that she reminds me of my own battle with the flesh – it is not instinctive to “live Christ.” No doubt this is why adults often call church folks hypocrites. It is unnatural for any human to just “live Christ” all the time. Adam made sure of that:

sin came into the world through one man, and death came through sin, and so death spread to all because all have sinned (Romans 5:12b)

As parents, we realize that it becomes our responsibility to shape her into godliness. We have to care about the balance of content she intakes (secular vs Christian). We have to both model and teach worship, prayer, Bible reading, and “Christian speak” at home. Yes, I said it “Christian speak.” She ought to know who she is, who we are, and most importantly who our God is. The Israelites were told without reservation:

Teach them (God’s Word)  to your children, talking about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise (Deuteronomy 11:19)

We realize we cannot be slack about it. We must be deliberate. Yet, it must be done in a way that respects her level of learning, and which encourages a love for the things of God.  We've have had to tie her reading of the Bible to both positive and negative reinforcement. Keep in mind, we also can’t afford to frustrate her. Some people end up with an adverse reaction to “God things and God speak” especially since  the flesh is innately resistant to God (John 7:7). We’ve also had to purchase a girl friendly Bible. Oh, you would be amazed at the way she cuddles up to that book (especially when she knows she’ll get 4 hours of Netflix kids on the backside of that). We have found that the stories must be relevant, and applicable to the moment. For example, we had a moment yesterday when she acted up because she did not want to do any chores. I played a bit of reverse psychology on her and it worked in my favor. She came to me a little later asking “Can we talk?”  I was impressed. She said she was sorry. Ok, that's a first. So I took her to the park and talked for a bit. We tied it to respect for adults and specifically “a father figure” (which she’s never had). It ended with a bit of the Prodigal’s son story (Luke 15:11-32). She’s learning.  Keep in mind, it's been a process to get her to love reading. She'd never been to library before. We took her to the largest library in Florida (or so they say). So that was a joy. She was allowed to have any ten books she wanted(within reason) for the first borrow. Did that twice. Second time she got a bit more freedom in her choice of books. Now she had a balance for summer - trips around town, lots of beach, tablet, bike riding, climbing trees, playing hopscotch, park, more beach, books, Bible. Now there's a reading routine. We’re learning, taking  it one day at a time. The process of transformation (sinner to saint) is much like this journey of parenting.

Oh, if you are looking for a great Bible for your girl I recommend the Girls Life Application Study Bible:

  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/141439781X/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

All the best!