Consider the 3 Dimensions of Relationship Building

About Relationships – Pursuing God

(Written by Kevin A Hall   05.2017)

These past months have given me cause to reevaluate the impact of my life. It is true what they say, “When you get older, your priorities change”. What of the years I spent pursuing selfish dreams? How about futile relationships?   How about attempts to reach high up the corporate ladder? How about now, having passed the 40-year mark…Is my marriage what I envisioned it to be? What of my sisters and brothers…Do they really know me? And then, most importantly…What of my relationship with God? The day I decided to quit my job in pursuit of Christ was a landmark moment in my life. I never told anyone this but I share it today – I lived and breathed “work”. I wanted nothing but excellence! And I achieved much of my goals. Yet, there is always some force to contend with in relationships. My last boss was selfish. He wanted to make a name for himself, but at whose expense? I played along with the game as best as I could, yet, months in, I realized this was a dead end struggle. I was determined not to lose my sanity in the process. It was during this time that I found solace in spending more time with God. I felt God’s call to connect with Him on a deeper level – a deeper level. It was clear as daylight that it was time to leave the job. The phone call was not difficult. The difficult part was leaving years of toil and sweat and successes, and hopes and dreams and relationships, even failures behind. I really loved what I was doing. But it was time to go. Since that phone call, and I remember it well (June 18, 2016 @ 2:10 pm) it feels like I have achieved in one year, more than I have in the past 10 years. I attribute the achievements to one thing – The Intentional Pursuit Of Christ. To that end, I have been reading simultaneously two books related to Spiritual Disciplines. Here are some takeaways on cultivating relationships:

Mike Breene introduced the concept of a Life Shape – consistency in maintaining and developing relationships. The triangle outlined 3 dimensions of relationships: UP – as it relates to God; IN – as it relates to those in our circles; OUT – as it relates to those around us.

With Jesus as the model I am encouraged to find a balance in these three dimensions of my own relationships and identify how this relates to any organization in which I belong. Breene describes it as “a pattern for a balanced life as is evident throughout Scripture” (58). As is natural with assessing relationship models as this one, I was prone to think about how this can work for others. This model encourages me to deliberately and intentionally pursue deeper and more intimate relationships all around. When I connect with those around me, I should:

UP – Walk humbly with God.

IN – Love mercy

OUT – Act justly

This is a good place to start.

Regarding Prayer: One Discipline that I can apply right away is the practice of prayer and devotion. According to Breene (58), Prayer was as important to Jesus as breathing. He prayed regularly, he prayed early at times and sometimes late. Usually alone, but at times modeling praying along with those He disciple and ministered to. He prayed before making decisions. In fact, “He inhaled His Father’s presence so He could exhale His Father’s will” Connection to the Father, His source was such a priority. I don’t believe I ever looked at prayer like that. This revelation about the importance of time with God has encouraged me to spend more time in prayer, but this time to develop a deliberate and intentional habit of doing so. Not out of obligation nor duty, but rather as a necessity for spiritual growth as water is good for my body. Earlier on this year I began to spend time in very early morning devotions usually up to an hour. It has become pretty consistent practice. I automatically wake up at the time for prayer. I look forward to it. However, I have found that whenever there is a kink in my relationship the first thing that is affected is my prayer time. So I am aware that there is a link between relationship and ‘walking’. I intend to keep this discipline going keeping in mind Frank Laubach’s encouragement to “get to know the invisible Companion inside of us” (Breene, 65).

Jesus’ life was fruitful because His UP relationship was effective. He was personal and intimate with His Father. If I am to be fruitful in life, I must remain connected to the vine. Breene (59) mentioned that “our efforts are worthless if we do not have the UP in our lives”. Point taken. For how else will I really know the will of God for my life and those connected to me.

Jesus often prayed before he engaged in activities like reaching out to the crowd, teaching, healing and comforting. Even troubled spirits responded to “the power that was coming from Him” (Breene, 60). I look forward to what God will do as I embrace the UP dimension of my relationship.

On dealing with stuff…

Mike Foster (5 - 6) said that “people can make a good showing for a time, but sooner or later there will come that unguarded moment when the careless word will slip out to reveal the true condition of the heart... When we are with people, what we are comes out”.

 There was a case I had to deal with in which I took this passage to heart. I prayed that the Lord would reveal what was happening with that person when I eventually got into their presence. It was a different kind of prayer. I prayed for revelation all week. By the end of the week I had given up hope for a resolve. Then on Saturday a call came in unexpectedly and my suspicions were realized…with the slip of the tongue. I am certain that was not a slip of the tongue. I truly believe that was an answer to prayer. In one sense I was relieved that the door was now open to confront and challenge, but I learned that God does want to deal with all issues concerning His people; I had the opportunity to assist in healing through the request of prayer. I wonder how much more effective my life would have been if my UP relationship was better?

The God who raised Jesus from the dead is present in the person of the Holy Spirit in my life and I must make adjustments in my daily walk for a deeper intimacy with Him. That connection should provide fruitful OUT and IN results. Isn’t this what life’s al about? Connecting with Christ (UP), so that every other part of life (OUT & IN) gives Him glory.

Blessings!

References:

Breene, Michael; Cockram, Steve. Building A Discipling Culture (Pawey Islands, SC: 2009)

Foster, Richard. Celebration of Discipline (New York: Harper Collins, 1998)

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